Skyfall – with Eddie and Gus

Skyfall with Robbie and GusEDDIE: Seen the new Bond film?
GUS: Skyfall? Yes.
EDDIE: And?
GUS: It was most enjoyable. While retaining the reboot grittiness characteristic of the Daniel Craig era, it also restores many of the humorous and romantic sensibilities that have been missing from the franchise recently.
EDDIE: What did you do – swallow a dictionary? What you mean is it’s got Q, a bunch of one-liners and a funky villain.
GUS: Indeed. The plot does stray somewhat into silliness, however.
EDDIE: Killer title sequence. That VFX place in London did it. You know, SpecSavers.
GUS: What?
EDDIE: Not SpecSavers. Framestore. They did a heap of other effects too. So did Cinesite. And MPC.
GUS: Why are you so obsessed with the visual effects? It isn’t as if there were very many.
EDDIE: Hah! Like they’d really put Daniel Craig on top of a train!
GUS: It certainly looked as if they did.
EDDIE: Well. Yeah. Okay. They did. Rigged him up with safety wires. Someone in the rotoscope department has to paint them out, you know. Poor bastard. Then they have to put the background back in. Maybe a totally different background.
GUS: Don’t be ridiculous. They can’t do that.
EDDIE: That viaduct? When he falls in the water? The water’s not really there. The compositors have to …
GUS: Can we talk about something else? For example, the way Thomas Newman’s music carries his own distinctive style yet evokes the classic Bond scores of the late great John Barry?
EDDIE: Yadda yadda. New and old. I get it. Did you see the Kimono dragons?
GUS: It think you mean Komodo. Kimonos are Japanese dresses.
EDDIE: The lizards weren’t wearing dresses.
GUS: Oh dear lord.
EDDIE: So what did you think of them?
GUS: They were an effective threat in a standard ‘snake pit’ scenario. No doubt a homage to the crocodiles in Live and Let Die.
EDDIE: CG. Maya. Cinesite.
GUS: I do wish you’d speak English.
EDDIE: The lizards were animated.
GUS: Oh. Oh, well, I suppose everything is these days.
EDDIE: You think? A lot of the effects in Skyfall were done with miniatures.
GUS: Can you stop talking now?
EDDIE: Enhanced with animation.
GUS: Please stop.
EDDIE: Like the helicopter crash. Model chopper. CG blades. That was MPC.
GUS: I wish you’d just watch films like a normal person.
EDDIE: You think you’re normal?
GUS: I’m more normal than you.
EDDIE: If you say so. Fancy another pint?
GUS: I don’t mind if I do
EDDIE: So what movie are we watching next?
GUS: I don’t care. Just as long as it doesn’t have any visual effects in it.
EDDIE: A movie with no visual effects?
GUS: Yes.
EDDIE: You know, buddy, in this day and age that’s gonna be a lot harder than you think. But don’t worry if you don’t spot all the camera tricks. You’ve got me to point them out.
GUS: Give me strength.
(with apologies to Framestore, Cinesite and MPC)

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